CHASING THE HORIZON

USA /BAJA 2016 (part 1)

The  Baja 1000 is an off road race that has been running since 1967. It is generally regarded as one of the most grueling Motorsport events in the world. It features super high tech off road racing cars as well as bikes and and in recent years ATVs. This year the course  loop course of 850 miles from Ensenada to Ensenada across some of the most rugged and also beautiful scenery on the Baja Peninsular. Ever since I was a little boy I have had dreams of one day being able to witness the Baja 1000 first hand.  This is a recount of our trip, which as you will read didn't quite go as planned, but never the less turned out to be a brilliant trip.

The flight from Home takes 13 hours and usually its 13 hours of hell, but this trip wasn't too bad. Managed to score one of the twin seats down the back, which have heaps more room than the ones further forward. Also didn't suffer from the usual barrage of screaming Babies that I usually seem to cop, Several Gins and a couple of sleeping tablets made it a little more bearable.

 

Landed at LA and despite what you normally hear about LAX customs made it quickly through to be met by my Mate Marsh, who is the guardian of the US Strom.

We spent the day fitting a new rear shock and going over the bike, drinking several billion beers and basically recovering from Jetlag.

After a great nights sleep I was keen to get on the bike and go and explore some of the awesome canyon roads surrounding LA. The canyon roads are just supurb.

 

Stopped at the top of Mt Baldy and had a refreshing beer whilst deciding where to go next. I had heard that the San Gabriel Canyon Rd (highway 39) was not to be missed so after refuelling began the climb up the mountain.

 

And that's when the trouble started. After being stopped about half way by a Car accident, I made my way to the front of the line of stopped cars. When the Stop n Go man allowed us to pass I was first away and whilst accelerating up through the gears,I was approaching a Left hand cresting bend with a lookout area to my right . ( remember I am on the RHS side of the road here) When a fucking Moron in a convertible PT Cruiser decided that he didn't want to wait in line with the stopped cars heading down the hill and  simply crossed across the double yellow lines right into my path. There was nothing I could have done to avoid him and I slammed into the side ove the car. All I remember is yelling Oh Fuck as i went sailing over the top of the car and kicking his dog in the head on my way over. I landed in a tumbling heap on the other side of the car.

How I wasn't killed I will never know. If it had of been a sedan I would have simply slammed into the car and probably broken my neck. Fortunately my superior fitness meant that I simply rolled to a stop and never even suffered a graze although I did have a sore wrist. The guy on the bike behind me was dumbfounded and couldn't believe I was uninjured. The fuckwit car driver jumped out of his car and immediately started making excuses for his actions. Neither he or his fat ugly wife ever asked if I was ok as far as I can remember. I just wanted to make sure the dog was OK.

This is the Fuckwit here. Intelligent looking price of shit isn't he?

Feel free to send him hate mail.

The police, paramedics and Firies soon arrived. (as it happens it only took a few minutes as they were still cleaning up from the previous car accident.) They too were dumbfounded that I hasd no injuries. The Paramedics checked me out to be sure and before long a tow truck arrived to pick up my now wrecked bike. It was carted off to the wrecking yard, while the copper dropped me off at the local bottle shop where I quickly demolished a six pack and thanked the roads gods for sparing me.

 

 

Marsh being the champion he is was soon on his way to pick me up and plans were hatched as to what we would do next in order to continue the trip. A quick phone call to the Insurance company reassured me that all would be taken care of and the search was on to look for a replacement bike. A lot of time was spent on Craigslist that night.

 The bruises were soon making themselves apparent.

I awoke the next morning feeling a little bit battered and bruised but decided the best thing I could do was jump back on that horse. Marsh offered me the use of the Aprillia Tuonu that he stores for another friend of ours and I decided that leisurely cruise along Pacific Coast highway and the California beaches for some Fish and chips would be just what I needed to get some confidence back. 

Stopped in at the world famous Neptune's Net in Malibu for a great feed of fish Tacos and a beer.

 

Whilst having lunch I decided that I wasn't going let a little crash that could have been the end of me stop me from enjoying our trip. I had unfinished business in those Canyons, so armed with nothing more than the clothes I was wearing and my credit card, I sent Marsh a message saying I would be back in a couple of days. Didn't even have a change of undies or a toothbrush let alone a can of deodorant. Apologies to anyone I came into contact with over the next few days.

 

I had a ball climbing up and down the endless canyon roads above Malibu with their perfect camber and awesome views. Many would be familiar with names like Mullholland Highway, Latigo canyon road, etc. I had a ball. I had meant to call into the world famous Rock store for a drink, but it was closed by the time I got there, so i punched the closest hotel into the GPS and ended up in Thousand Oaks, where I booked into a shitty motel and had an awesome pizza and a few beers before sleeping the sleep of the dead.

I awoke to the news that Marsh had been busy and possibly found a bike that might be suitable. His mate David had a nice Yamaha FZ1 for sale in Ojai, which wasn't too far from where I was, so I decided to go and have a look. 

The bike was in great condition, but unfortunately it just wasn't going to be suitable for a 2 up tour to Baja, so I had to pass it up. If we had of been going to Colorado or somewhere like that I would have grabbed in in a heartbeat.

Whilst the bike didn't work out an unexpected bonus was that i was right next to the brilliant Highway 33 which crosses the Los Padres National park. David armed me with a route that took in HI33, Lockwood valley rd to Pine Mountain Club and the Spectacular Hudson ranch rd. Just brilliant. I was also now armed with the worst case of Man flu I have ever had. Thanks Marsh.

 

I decided that Sequoia National park would be nice at this time of year and headed to the town of Tulare, so I could make  an assault early in the morning. Another shitty motel,  a burger and root beer from Karls Diner and a small bottle of whisky to try and ward off Marsh's disease, then into bed. Still didn't have a toothbrush or deodorant so I was starting to ripen up by this stage.

It was stinking hot down on the flat lands, so an early start was in order. The early morning sun was already searing through the fog.

I headed up the brilliantly twisty 245 to Squaw Valley for a refuel Then headed in to the spectacular Sequoia National Park. 

 

Home to the largest trees in the world including the aptly named General Sherman tree.

 

The General Sherman Tree,Its Big.Had to take 2 pics to fit it all in.

  

The road was pretty cool though.

 

 

As were some of the views

Came across some disobedient Deer obviously not registered and taking up valuable parking spaces....bastards

 

 

I had a great time blasting through the park on the Tuono and before long it was dark,so I headed for the Hicksville town of Porterville. This also when stage 2 troubles started. After stopping for  fuel the bike wouldn't start. I found a couple of non English speaking Mexicans and got them to give me a push to no avail. Big V Twins with slipper clutches don't like being push started and it is virtually impossible. The fucking Mexicans gave up after a couple of  goes anyway....lazy pricks.

Managed to push it to a local garage where the bloke gave me a jump start. I thought I had just left the lights on or something and that the battery had simply gone a little flat. I found a shitty motel,  Had a no soap shower then hit the sack. Didn't even have a feed due to there being nothing around. No Uber eats in Porterville. 

 The next morning I rose early with the plan of hitting the southern section of Sequoi including Camp Nelson Ponderosa and Lake Isabella.

But of course The Tuono she no go ! Fucking temperamental Italians. I had no tools and No idea. The battery was obviously flat and wasnt getting any charge.

No amount of my cursing was going to get it going. To top it off it was Veterans day. One of the very few public holidays in the states and as a result absolutely nothing was open. I rang around as many places as I could but nothing. I got a quote from U haul for van to drag it back to LA but as it was a public holiday it was going to cost a fortune to hire. In the end my disease ridden savior Marsh made the 5 hour trek to pick me and the bike up. At least we got to spend some quality time together on the way back. Did I mention he is a legend?

 

 

All the while both Marsh and I had been searching Craigslist for a suitable bike and with Sammy due to arrive the next day, I made the call to hire a bike for the trip in to Mexico. All that I could find at short notice was a DL650 Vstrom or a Harley. I figured a Harley would be shit on the dirt roads of Baja, so the Wee Strom it was, even though I would have preferred something with a few more horsepowers.

 

Sammy arrived the next morning and after picking her up, we picked up the Strom and I put her to work packing and loading the Strom, whilst Marsh and I drank beer and compared the effects of the Man Flu we had managed to share with each other. Thanks mate.

 

The next morning with Sams work complete, we saddled up and hit the road south. First stop Devils Kitchen on highway 74 where we waited over an hour for a very ordinary breakfast. We still left a hefty tip though as the waitress looked like she would hunt us down and shoot us if we didn't. I also enjoyed her fake boobs, so it was money well spent. ( was too scared to take a pic though).

On past the  pretty Lake Elsonore to Temecula, then up Mt Palomar, where we met up with our old mate Buzz and his newly aquired 650 Strom that he had purchased to join us on our trip south.

After a cold drink at Mother Kitchen on Mt Palomar, it was decided that some of the world famous Apple pie was in order at the close by town of Julian.

I'll have what she's having.

 

Checked into to the alpine town of pine valley and whilst I lay in bed dying from man flu, Sam & Buzz went out for burgers and burritos.

That's the End of part 1 See part 2 later this week.

 

USA / BAJA 2016 (PART 2)

It was  a short  but fun ride to the Tecate border crossing the next morning where armed with Passports, Temporary vehicle import papers, Tourists visa, Registration docs, Immunization certificates and International driving permits etc, we were fully ready for the border crossing into Mexico.

Of course the border guards didn't give a shit about all that stuff and simply waved us across and just like that we were in. We didn't even get shot at like everyone told us we would and  No drug Barons trying to kidnap us. Just a lot of friendly faces staring at the stupid Gringos who obviously had no idea what they were doing.

Was all a bit of a disappointment really. After a quick look around Tecate we set of on the impressive Highway 2 for Mexicali along the way crossing the Brilliant La Rumarosa pass. What a road. Better than any high mountain road in Australia. ( apart from the treacherous braking reminders known as Topes IN THE BRAKING AREA on the approach to every corner. FUCK THEY KEEP YOU ON YOUR TOES)

 

It was also at this point that hire Strom developed some concerning noises emanating from the rear wheel area. An inspection discovered that the chain was stuffed and and that the sprocket carrier bearing was also had seen better days.

This was not what we needed in a country where we didn't speak the language and bikes of this size a very few and far between. We decided to push on to Mexicali and see what we could organise and were very fortunate to come across Juan at Yo Mero motoservicios. Juan had the problem sorted with a chain he had ordered off Ebay by mistake and soon had a replacement bearing underway. He was intrigued by the Strom and was wrapped when i told him to take for a test ride to make sure all was good. The smile on face was priceless.

Whoops Ive broken another one.

In no time at all we were on our way again, Heading south down highway 5 across  the desert to the Oasis of San Felipe.

 

I wondered where that cough lolly went.

 

 

We were tired little vegemites when checked in to the awesome beach-side resort Hotel Cortez but we soon settled into a night of $3 dollar Margaritas and $1 tacos while the super Moon rose over the sea of Cortez.

 

Was a fantastic night 

 

 

Nah I  didnt really take that LAST pic. Pffft as if. 

Next morning After a spectacular sun rise, We had a great brekky on the water front.

No we did have bearded clam

 

Then had a bit of a look around San Felipe.

 

 

Set off again down the amazing highway 5. Was so surprised at the quality of the road. Brand new most of the way and virtually no traffic.We sat on 100mph ( 160kph) the whole way and didn't get tazered once.

 

 We called in to the ghost town of Puertocities. There are lot of these deserted towns on the peninsular. Seems when times are good the locals go ballistic building resorts and restaurants and stuff and then it turns to shit an the towns get abandoned. 

 

There also these massive entrances to driveways that lead to nothing. Its Bizarre.

 

We scooted down a few of the sandy tracks pretending to be Baja racers. We soon learnt we are not even close.

 

 But we celebrated like we were anyway.

 

The local were always friendly and keen for a chat.

 

And the views magnificent.

 

 

Someone had told me about a little Cantina on the beach at the Bay of Gonzaga, so we pulled into to have a look and have a cold beer.

 

It was here that  the coolest thing happened.Whilst we were sitting back sipping our Cerveza, a Magnificent Whale shark swam past just a few meters in front of us. She was at 100 ft long I reckon ...ok maybe 20.

We jumped to the waters edge and were shooting off reams of pics, when 2 fisherman raced towards us and urged us the jump in their boat.

They raced us out to the whale shark and proceeded to strip us of our riding gear urging us to jump in with the massive fish. Was a bit unnerving, being stripped to our undies by fishermen but me and Buzz dived in and had a great time swimming with the beautiful creature until she grew tired of us and with a flick of her tail disappeared.

 

Was a fantastic time that we will remember for a long time. Thanks friendly fishermen.

The road south from  there turned to dirt and we  whizzed on having a great time once again pretending to be Toby Price.

 

The road was rough as guts and  The remote outpost of Cocos Corner was a welcome sight.

Coco is a 79 year old double amputee who spends his time selling cold beer to passing travelers and pinching knickers off any female visitors which he then gets you to hang up on his wall.

 

Buzz was in paradise

 

He really is just a dirty old man and while he distracted me by asking me to fix a hinge on window he secretly Whipped Sams  knickers off and then had the cheek to ask me to nail them to the roof. Dirty Old bastard.

 

He is quite the character though and we spent a nice hour or so laughing and reading excerpts from his guest book and listening to his tales.

The new road is slowly encroaching and in future will not actually go past his place. Will be a sad day when hes gone.

 

 

 

 We said our goodbyes had a crap in his toilet and continued on to Baja De Los Angeles, which has a spectacular view, and a is a brilliant road in, but is actually a bit of a dump. Dirty and mangy looking dogs everywhere and one of those places where you can feel the eyes peering at you from behind closed curtains. Was kinda freaky.

We checked into the 2nd best hotel in town (found a later there is a much better one right on the beach. Doh! ) and spent a nice night and a great meal, chewing the fat with some good old boys from the States who thought our accents were hilarious and who were blasting around the desert on the dirt bikes. They were having a ball.

End Part 2.

Part 3 soonish. (its taking a lot longer than I thought so shut up and stop sending me messages)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

USA/BAJA (PART 3)

Unfortunately This was as far south as we would go. Definitely need to come back and go down further.

Was a bit of a slow start the next morning due to missing brain cells, but we eventually got away and began our trek north through the cactus fields, stopping along the way to check out a few of the sites.

Got pulled up at a Military checkpoint and asked if we had any drugs etc and while the Guns were a bit disconcerting they were good blokes and happily posed for a pic.

 

The roads were once again glorious.

 

The Fuel stops were a little dodgy

Sam reckons she has never been surrounded by so many pricks.

 

In Rosario, We pulled into the world famous Mama Espositos restaurant, where we feasted on steak and lobster and wine all for the princely sum of $10ea. Mama has recently passed away but we had a lovely chat with her daughter who now runs the place.

She reminded me so much of my mum and she nearly made me cry when she whispered to me that I must to come back and see her again. Was a nice moment. 

 

The race was then on to get to our over night stop at the Pirate hotel of Camalu. 

Did I tell you the roads were Glorious?

 

The pirate hotel at Camalu was cool.

 

 

We looked just like Romeo and Juliet

 

Another great feed and awesome sunset, but was marred by a couple of loud mouth Americans who thought it was funny to be obnoxious and rude to the waitress who was clearly distressed.

I was very tempted to punch one in the mouth, but he soon  he got the message and left. Dickhead loudmouth Americans. Not like us sophisticated Aussies.

 The Margaritas were good though.

 

We retired to our luxurious Honeymoon suite soon after.

 

It was a pretty cool place , even if it was only half finished.

Our destination today would be Enjido Erindira and the Hostel known as Coyote Cals, which would be our base for the next few days whilst the Baja 1000 was in progress.

The hostel was great ( although the Owner was a bit Schizophrenic) and we were booked in to the Crows Nest, which offered 360 degree views all from the comfort of our bed.

Was brilliant to wake up to this spectacular view.

Calm yourselves ladies.

It was nice to look down on the plebs camping i the sand.

We quickly dropped our bags off then scooted up the Highway to Ensendada to take in the pre start festivities of the Baja 1000

Was reminiscent of our trip to the Dakar in 2013. The locals go nuts over the Baja, Many drive round in ex race cars or Pre runners as they are known.

Music, food, Cars, bikes, Beer, girls in skimpy suits everywhere. Whats not to love?  Was like paradise for us.

.

Buzz wanted to take this home

We spent hours wandering around stalking Aussie Dakar legend Toby Price but to no avail. He was obviously avoiding us.

 

Passed Robbie Gordon. Slow arrogant prick he is

 After we had taken in all we could it was time to head back to Cals. The plan was to take the dirt road which was actually part of the next days race course.

We headed back south to Santo Tomas, where I promptly took the wrong road. ( who says ya don't need a GPS in Baja) and led us on a 30 klm trek down a good dirt road but in completely the wrong direction. Was a nice ride though.

 

 

We ended up in a farmers cabbage patch, so I decided to do some ploughing to help him out.

 

After finding our way out of the cabbage patch we  came to a dead end locked gate with a security guard who was adamant that we were not getting into the Concrete Plant and no the road didn't go any further south. Least that's what I think he was saying. And now its starting to get dark. Would it Kill them to put a sign up saying no through road? . Fuckers.

 

Eventually a guy comes along in a ute a says yes there is a track. Follow me. Of course we did and he led us through a fully working concrete Quarry complete with massive dump trucks to nasty looking deep sand twin track that looked like it hadn't been used in several years. It was now fully  dark and we decided discretion was the better option we thanked him kindly but decided we had no option but to back track to 30 klms back to the highway and get on the right road.

 

 

I'm blaming Buzz he had the only GPS with mapping that worked and he could have seen we were on the wrong road but didn't. Fuck its hard to get good help.

 So back track we did into the darkness. Upon reaching Santo Tomas again we concluded that although it was dark the road we needed was actually on the map as opposed to the road we had just traveled an as we didn't have any trouble on that road we should be right. Right??

Wrong !!

 

What we hadn't taken into account was that this road is actually part of the race track and for the part month had been used by the competitors pre running the course to make their notes and learn which way the road goes.

 It had been torn to shred by the 800 hp monsters and was a deep rutted silt filled rock garden and we had no place being on it in the middle of the night on totally unsuitable bikes. Especially 2 up.

 But wheres the adventure in that. We got sucked in by the first bit which actually wasn't too bad, but it soon deteriorated. It took us 4 hours to travel the 100 klms and Sam and I had 2 crashes along the way. Fortunately nothing serious, but we did break one of the panniers off. Zip ties to the rescue.

 We eventually made it back to the hostel to be greeted by the hostile owner who wanted to know where we had been and why we had missed dinner.

I basically and politely told him to fuck off. Strange character is old mate at Cals. One minute nice as anything next thing angryman. Perhaps he is bipolar or something. 

His wife was much more accommodating and whipped us up an awesome Thai meal. ( Her being Thai n all)

 We basically ignored him anyway and set about ordering tequila slammers to help us over our ordeal.

 

Next day and its race day. We selected our positions on the pachio whilst Sam got a lovely Thai massage and waited for the First of the bikes to arrive. And waited and waited.

WE were pretty pissed by the time they got there, but it was worth the wait.

 

These guys were racing for more than sheep stations.

 

The cars were Spectacular to watch.Fuck me these things are awesome. Over 800 hp with suspension that is worth more than my house. Average cost of the top running cars is 1 million bucks.

 

We had the best time taking pics and whoopin and Hollerin.

 

 

 

Tried to scam a GIZAGO in this but to no avail. LS1 motor in the back with Aussie made Transaxle

 

Sometime during the day I met Cruz who owned this house, right on the course.

Cruz is a Mexican who actually lives in the states. 

He asked me where I was from and when I told him couldn't believe we had come just to watch this race. We became instant best friends and he invited us into his place for an Asada (mexican BBQ) and more beers

 

Sam became instant best friends with his gorgeous wife Angela and their kids.

The neighbors made us pizza

What a view from his pachio and the race goes straight past.

 

We had the best afternoon. Drank 4 billion beers of which Cruz would not accept a cent for. His neighbors came over with more food and we drank 2 billion more beers.

Sometime into the night we all piled into his truck and went down to the river bed and watched more cars come through.

 

 

Had to help modify one by pulling the bonnet off.

 

 

And then we all drove home drunk straight past the police road block. They didn't give a shit. Was an epic time.

 Sadly the next day we missed saying our good byes to Cruz and Angela as they had left before we got up. They have our details and I really hope they make contact. Such an awesome family

(edit He has since sent me a message and we have made contact which is so cool. Cant wait to catch up with them again.

 

We made our way back to Ensenada, stopping into the tourist town of La Buffadora to by some Souvenirs and Cigars. We didn't bother parking up and simply rode down the street behind some dude in a race buggy. Just seemed like the right  

 

No idea why we need a Mexican rug, but this guy was adamant that we had to have so who was I to argue.

 

And the Box of Cuban cigars was 10 bucks. Would be about a hundred at home. result !

 

 

Yes I think that is spinach on Sam's tooth.

Couldn't find any accommodation in La Buffadora. so we booked into a flash  resort back in Ensenada, which coincidentally was where the Speed racing team of Robbie Gordon was staying.

 

 

Dinner that night was a Salubrious affair.

 

 Check out the pics of our dinner. Was delicious.

And then back to the work bench for some rest.

 

Next morning a dip in the Jacuzzi, before a delicious breakfast complete with Mariachi band.

 

I love a good Mariachi band me, but it needed a midget to be more authentic.

 Poor blokes had no idea what to make of me.

 

Didn't see Robbie cause he is a big Dick and wouldn't come out of his room, but a couple of the team members gave us an awesome tour of the race cars including his Gordini Dakar racer.

 

Was pretty cool.

 

We decided to spend another night in Ensendada  and spent the day checking out the sights and a delicious free meal nearby winery courtesy of the Mexican tourist bureau. No  I don't why either, but we didn't complain.

We spent a few hours watching a few of the backmarkers finish.

 We also  spent a few  hours wandering around trying to find Aussie Dakar legend Toby Price but to no avail. I think he was trying to avoid us.

 

 

Then it was back in town for Pizza, Margarita, dancing waterfalls and more Tequila slammers.

 

 

The dancing fountains were pretty cool. After getting kicked out of a strip club (Sams fault no women allowed) we retired to a bar for more tequila 

 

 

 

We had a great time in Ensenada. Its amazing the sights you see.

 

Our last day in Mexico was spent cruising up the spectacular coast to Tijuana. 

 

All the while I had this feeling that someone was watching over us.

 

Tijuana was a shit fight. We basically rode straight through and then spent a couple of hours trying to get across the busiest Border crossing in the world. The promised wall hadn't been started yet.

 

Took us a couple of goes to get in the right lane and we would probably still be there if not for the help of a friendly bike rider, who told us to follow him. 

 

Easy for him with no  panniers to worry about. We did our bit for the local smash repairs businesses by putting several dents in cars. Its the least we could do.

 

Eventually we made it to the crossing, where we learnt that getting out of Mexico is much harder than it is getting in.

 

We coped the 3rd degree, but that was noting compared to Buzz who was carted off to an interview where apparently they did all manner of Nasty things to him. ( eventually he was release and whilst I thought he may have been walking funny, he assured us they only wanted to know why his bike wasn't registered. ( it actually was but he didn't have the plates yet)

And back into the good ole USA we went.



 

 

 

 Part 4 next.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

USA/ BAJA (Part 4)